Caleb

There is a boy named Caleb (who has already become a regular beggar and bargainer at our house) who came to our house again yesterday morning. The first day that I met Caleb, he told me that he really enjoyed drawing, and I asked him what kinds of things he liked to draw. The conversation proceeded with the usual questions about his age and his grade in school, etc. When I complimented him on his English, he smiled very big and said, “Thank you!”

That conversation took place while Caleb carried a VERY heavy tank of gas (for my stove) from the market to my house. When I questioned his ability to carry such a heavy thing (by asking if I could help him), he stood very tall, puffed out his chest, and became quite serious as he looked at me and said, “No! I am very strong. I can carry this on my head, and it will be no problem” I smiled and said okay.

By the time we reached my house, I think that Caleb might have questioned whether he really was strong enough for such a feat. But he did it, so Baine gave him 200cfa for his help. Naturally, Caleb bargained for more, but we stood firm in what we gave him. Ever since then, he has come to our house regularly to “offer services” (e.g., cleaning, drawing, etc.) and tell us about all of his problems (e.g., inability to pay his school fees), which is another way of begging for money. When Caleb came to our house yesterday, he wanted me to buy his drawings.

It is difficult to explain my feelings in these situations. First, I want to help. That’s why I’m here. And in my attempt to help, I’m hoping to connect with people. Although money and services can be good/helpful and even necessary, I believe that real, foundational, lasting change (to both parties) occurs through human connection, through relationship.

Every day that I’m in Cameroon, I wonder HOW such connection can happen between our very different worlds – between Caleb and me, BERUDEP and me, Cameroon and the USA. How? – when I represent wealth and power to Caleb, and Caleb represents poverty and powerlessness to me?

With great ambivalence, I chose not to give Caleb any money yesterday – even though he spent 2 hours drawing pictures for me in my yard. But I also chose not to send him away, despite how hurt I felt my his objectification of me (i.e., coming to my house, not to see me and connect with me, but to get money – to use me.) My instinct was to be angry at him and send him away (thus, returning his objectification by treating him like an annoying, begging pest.)

But I chose to talk with Caleb in hopes of connection. Through that, I learned many things about Caleb – that he’s an orphan whose adoptive parents “bought” him when he was a baby, that his younger sister (who was also supposed to be adopted by the same parents) died at birth, that he is a very good (and proud!) student who has not had to repeat any grades, that he will almost jump through the roof with excitement when you ask him if he likes to play football (i.e., soccer).
Caleb became a human being to me yesterday instead of an annoying, poor, African beggar. And although he hit me up for money about 3 different times before he left, I am thankful for the Grace that enabled me to really see a bit of this beautiful, energetic child named Caleb.