saying goodbye
In just a few weeks, it will have been 2 years since I went to the hospital to meet Antonio within 48 hours of his birth. Antonio’s parents (Debbie and Jeff) hired me before Antonio was born to be his nanny. I knew from the interview with Jeff and the 9-months-pregnant Debbie that they were going to be honest, caring, beautiful parents for whom I wanted to work. They graciously received me into their home, trusted me with their beautiful baby, and made me feel like part of the family. In the past 2 years, Debbie, Jeff, and especially Antonio have changed me and opened my heart in ways for which I will be eternally grateful.
Saying Hello to Antonio
No words can describe the void that was left in my heart when I had to say goodbye to Antonio, Debbie, and Jeff who moved to California a couple of days ago. As I changed Antonio’s diaper, gave him his bottle, and rocked him one last time, I felt like my heart was ripping out of my chest. Everything inside me refused to put him in his crib and kiss his little forehead one last time before he left. But I knew that I had to let go and walk away and feel the pain of goodbye. So I did, and my heart is aching with loss.
Saying Goodbye to Antonio
I am left with immense gratitude for being able to be a part of Antonio, Debbie, and Jeff’s lives for the past 2 years. We have many, many memories that I hope to never forget – not the least of which being 3-month-old Antonio releasing a pool of milky, infant poop out of his diaper onto my lap... You know my loss is great when I’m longingly reminiscing over Antonio's poop.
I know this was so hard for you.
ReplyDeleteWe are still crying about leaving our Laurie behind and probably always will. It breaks our hearts to not see your smile every week and to have you with us. But forever you are part of our family. Forever.
ReplyDelete...and now i'm crying! i didn't realize they were leaving...man, i know that heart-ache. hard to breathe. how blessed little antonio and his family were to have you for so long.
ReplyDeleteI know this was hard. He's such a sweet little boy. I know what a joy Tucker is at this age and since they're just a week or two apart, we were able to relate to things they were going through and doing. So, I will miss him too!
ReplyDelete