A Vat of Molten Lead
I was looking at the meanings and histories of names last night and decided to look up my own name (“laurie” being a form of “laura”). Included in the description was the following sentence: “The name was borne by the 9th-century Spanish martyr Saint Laura, who was a nun thrown into a vat of molten lead by the Moors.” Wow – what an intense image. I hope for a fate much less torturous than this.
No, I am not pregnant, but I do like thinking about names that I would like to give to my future children. In thinking about such a responsibility (naming another human being), I think 2 things are important: the aesthetic sound of the name and the meaning and history of the name. In choosing names with particular meanings, I realized that I am drawn to meanings that represent something that I felt that I missed in my own childhood. In naming my (future) children, I want to begin to give them a gift that I feel that I did not receive in my childhood. I want their names to literally be blessings and prophecies into the paths of their lives. Beautiful, isn’t it? :)
However, the more that I thought about this hope of mine in naming my children, the more I became aware that no single name can fully encompass what I hope for in the lives of my children. For example, one name that I like means “rest, comfort” and the middle name to go with it means “beloved.” At first, this felt like such a beautiful blessing to give a child. Then I wondered, “Will this rested and beloved child be a nice way of saying apathetic and lazy?” So then, I started thinking about combining first and middle names that balance each other – like mercy and justice. This feels important, because mercy without justice feels like thick mush that’s better for gagging than swallowing, and justice without mercy makes me want to punch somebody in the face and then hide in the fetal position. Hence the need for both.
At this point in my name-searching process, I became less concerned about the names and meanings that I was choosing and more concerned about the names and meanings I wasn’t choosing. What was I leaving out or avoiding? What about the needs that were met in my childhood and not just the needs that weren’t met? Shouldn’t I try to offer my children both? Maybe I should give each of my kids 50 names; that probably won’t traumatize them or make them feel any pressure or anything, right?
Regardless, while I like my name and know that my parents’ intention in naming me Laurie was quite good and beautiful (I was named after one of their very good and dear friends - who was a missionary in Africa for like 25 years, in fact!), I want to choose names for my children that don’t involve things like torturous deaths in vats of molten lead. Then again, whether it was my parents’ intention or not, my very strong opinions and passionate nature do put me at a certain disposition that is more prone to such a fate. I can definitely imagine chaining myself to a building in adamant protest against something and some officials in uniforms showing up and saying with British accents, “That’s it. It’s the vat of molten lead for you.”
I like my passionate nature. I don’t like the molten lead consequences. Like my parents, I suppose I won’t be able to protect my children from all the consequences of the things I hope for them. But still want to be thoughtful as I bear the responsibility of naming/ blessing (or even wishfully prophesying over) them.
**In much different news, my visa has arrived, and I’ll be departing for Cameroon on Tuesday, July 28. Let’s hope there are minimal amounts of drama between now and then.
No, I am not pregnant, but I do like thinking about names that I would like to give to my future children. In thinking about such a responsibility (naming another human being), I think 2 things are important: the aesthetic sound of the name and the meaning and history of the name. In choosing names with particular meanings, I realized that I am drawn to meanings that represent something that I felt that I missed in my own childhood. In naming my (future) children, I want to begin to give them a gift that I feel that I did not receive in my childhood. I want their names to literally be blessings and prophecies into the paths of their lives. Beautiful, isn’t it? :)
However, the more that I thought about this hope of mine in naming my children, the more I became aware that no single name can fully encompass what I hope for in the lives of my children. For example, one name that I like means “rest, comfort” and the middle name to go with it means “beloved.” At first, this felt like such a beautiful blessing to give a child. Then I wondered, “Will this rested and beloved child be a nice way of saying apathetic and lazy?” So then, I started thinking about combining first and middle names that balance each other – like mercy and justice. This feels important, because mercy without justice feels like thick mush that’s better for gagging than swallowing, and justice without mercy makes me want to punch somebody in the face and then hide in the fetal position. Hence the need for both.
At this point in my name-searching process, I became less concerned about the names and meanings that I was choosing and more concerned about the names and meanings I wasn’t choosing. What was I leaving out or avoiding? What about the needs that were met in my childhood and not just the needs that weren’t met? Shouldn’t I try to offer my children both? Maybe I should give each of my kids 50 names; that probably won’t traumatize them or make them feel any pressure or anything, right?
Regardless, while I like my name and know that my parents’ intention in naming me Laurie was quite good and beautiful (I was named after one of their very good and dear friends - who was a missionary in Africa for like 25 years, in fact!), I want to choose names for my children that don’t involve things like torturous deaths in vats of molten lead. Then again, whether it was my parents’ intention or not, my very strong opinions and passionate nature do put me at a certain disposition that is more prone to such a fate. I can definitely imagine chaining myself to a building in adamant protest against something and some officials in uniforms showing up and saying with British accents, “That’s it. It’s the vat of molten lead for you.”
I like my passionate nature. I don’t like the molten lead consequences. Like my parents, I suppose I won’t be able to protect my children from all the consequences of the things I hope for them. But still want to be thoughtful as I bear the responsibility of naming/ blessing (or even wishfully prophesying over) them.
**In much different news, my visa has arrived, and I’ll be departing for Cameroon on Tuesday, July 28. Let’s hope there are minimal amounts of drama between now and then.
and you must know that my name means 'victorious army,' which is quite the fit i think. i'll have to look up my middle name.
ReplyDeleteCarrie means "strong and womanly." I've always liked that.
ReplyDeletemy name cannot be found on any of the sites. i used to hate my name-- deanza. because it was so different and odd and whenever you'd go to the store to find something that were personalized with names printed on it i could never find my name, but now i am so thankful that i have my name. i guess the fact that it does not have an prescribed meaning or history means that i have the freedom to carve into it in a way that reflects me. i kinda like that.
ReplyDeleteChristy means "follower of Christ." It is a daily reminder of who I am. I should look up Marie, even though it is precious to me since it was Granny's name!
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you as you leave tomorrow. We are leaving tomorrow as well, but just to Jackson. Then on to Vegas on Wed! I'll be checking your blog and looking for emails from you as you are away. I love you!
Naming another human was one of the most difficult things I have had to do and in the end I trusted Jeff. And thankfully he was right. Our son, Antonio, could live with no other name. The meaning it has has nothing to do with ancient definitions but is in honor of a "good man". As his parents all we can hope is that our son will turn out to be as "good" of a man as his namesake. So, while you think about all these names, remember what is most important as a parent is what that name 'means' to you - and how you extend that meaning to your little one. We love all your deep thinking!
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