Adeline

August 08, 2009

Adeline

When Baine and I first came to Cameroon 4 years ago, we spent our first 3 months living with a local family - Godwin and Adeline (who are mine and Baine's age) and their baby Grace. Our homestay with Godwin and Adeline served as the beginning of what would become our closest friendship in Cameroon.

On my first return trip to Cameroon in 2007, Adeline shared with me her deep grief of having conceived and miscarried her second baby since I had left Cameroon the previous year. She has carried the baby a full 5 months when she suddently started experiencing a lot of pain and losing blood. She rushed to the hospital and a few short hours later lost the baby.

When I returned to Cameroon again last year - well aware of Adeline's grief from the miscarriage - I asked her if she was trying to conceive again. Immediately, her face dropped, and I knew something was wrong. Over the next few minutes, Adeline told me that she had conceived another baby since I'd last seen her. She had a difficult pregnancy but carried the baby full-term. But the baby died just minutes after delivery, and Adeline herself - having lost a lot of blood and such - almost died as well. She spent several days recovering in the hospital and returned home healthy but without her baby.

The grief with which Adeline told of her loss the previous year had evolved into a quiet numbness in telling the story of of her second less. She didn't look at me as she did the previous year, and her eyes merely glazed over as she talked. I myself felt numb and speechless from the overwhelming loss that I felt.

Not long after hearing this story, I asked Adeline more specific questions about both pregnancies - trying to get an idea of what exactly had caused the losses. Well aware of the magnitude of my statement (especially cross-culturally in Cameroon), I gently asked Adeline (and Godwin) to pursue more information about Adeline's pregnancy complications and to possibly consider not having more children. They agreed that they needed to be thoughtful and cautious about this decision.

Many months after returning home from this past trip to Cameroon, I emailed Adeline to find out what she was thinking about possibly conceiving again. Less than a week later, she returned my email, saying that she had wanted to surprise me but that she was 8 months pregnant! I, of course, felt extremely ambivalent about this news - excited and scared. But Adeline assured me that, unlike the previous pregnancies, this one had been completely smooth and normal - like when she was pregant with Grace. And she was right... On May 24, 2009, Adeline delivered a happy and healthy baby boy - Chia Mawoh! What a beautiful gift!

Chia...