silence

I've been silent in this blogging space for a week. It's difficult to "speak" publicly when my loneliness and pain are great. But I also want you to understand at least a bit of my experience. So...

It began almost a week ago: a combined onset of physical and emotional ailments. The following is the brightest of all the poems I've written this week. And while I seem to have presently lost the capacity to connect with such hope and care in the midst of darkness, this poem has begun to offer care to me as though written by someone else. My openness to these words feels hopeful, in and of itself. But I also hope that I'll soon be able to feel and claim it as my own.

Pain
inside and out
Nausea
Fog
Depth
Core
Irritability
Loneliness
Reality?
What is true?
Needy

One touch
could melt me.

Dizzy
More pain
Breathe
Patience
Kindness

Loneliness exposed

Nowhere to hide

Breathe
Receive care
at least
from self.
Receive
kindness
compassion
deep love.

Breathe... deeply.
Receive
Rest