empathic pushing?

As a doula, I often feel like I go through my own mini version of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum alongside my clients. There’s the anticipation, excitement, and hours of preparation for the impending birth during pregnancy. And then there’s the actual process of labor in which I work to remain physically and emotionally engaged with the laboring mother from beginning to end. And finally there’s the interesting interplay of elated pleasure and sheer exhaustion that takes place at the beginning of the postpartum period.

It’s during the actual process of labor and delivery where I feel like I most experience a mini version of what the birthing mother is going through. The energy of labor is so strong, and as a doula, I’m there with the mother – breathing, opening, letting go through every contraction. I even feel this energy of labor in my own body – especially when I’m physically connected to the laboring mother. I enjoy feeling this energy, because it helps me to stay attuned to and empathic toward the mother’s needs.

I attended a birth recently where I felt this type of connection and attunement with the mother during her labor. And much to my surprise in the moment, my body apparently kept that level of connection when the mother entered the pushing phase.
Minutes after the midwife described to the mother that the pushing sensation should feel a lot like pooping, I felt my body involuntarily try to “push” as I supported the mother during her pushes! Don’t worry. I was able to stop my own pushing quickly enough to prevent any results. But I was amazed yet again at how unconsciously engaged my body became with the mother during her labor. I love this intense level of engagement.

It’s such a gift to be invited into such an open, sacred space in women’s lives, and I’m newly reminded of that honor every time I attend a birth. I love my work and am a bit in awe that I get paid to do something that I love so much. I love the courage and strength that women inevitably discover within themselves through this process. I love the way my work engages my whole mind and body. And I love the raw glow on each woman’s face when her baby is finally born after so much work and preparation. I’m truly blessed to be able to do this work and look forward to continuing the deep physical and mental engagement that this work requires.