race

I have a vision of love. In one way or another, I think we all do. I also have strong feelings about violence and its root in hate. I'm especially disturbed by violence against women and people of color - i.e., sexism & racism.

Being that I am a woman, the source of my feelings on sexism are obvious. However, inheriting and embodying all the privilege that comes with my whiteness leaves the source of my feelings about racism a little more complex.

What I know is that, when issues of race come into a conversation, my neck gets splotchy, and my blood courses with fresh energy. This feels simultaneously dangerous and hopeful.

I'm currently at the beginning of a formal conversation about race with a group of doulas. I love the conversation and all the messiness, questions, and diverse feelings that come with it. I love the way it pushes me to grow and face my own hate, violence, and shame that surely I don't have - at least not like "really racist people."

In the midst of much work, my blood courses with desire tonight and solicits a bittersweet cocktail of grief and hope. Grief about the hate that lurks within myself & the world and hope for love and healing. I look forward to sharing with you where this journey takes me.

p.s. If you are also white & in a place that you want to think more about your own issues of racism, check this article out. If you want to go even deeper, consider spending a week or more making your own list of privileges (like in the article). It's a really hard thing to face but an enormous & courageous step toward healing within ourselves and our communities.