healing & giving
Alas, some of my thoughts about this section of this article --
In short, Beck writes that "[i]t’s hard to be therapeutic and prophetic at the same time." Whether we're talking about an individual or a group (e.g., church), I agree with this statement. I do think it's possible to be in both worlds at the same time to some degree, but it's hard and one is usually leaning more in 1 direction or another.
I'm intrigued by Beck's words, because I find myself very actively between these 2 worlds right now. My feelings about his words are very connected to my story and my own experiences. Here's a glimpse of that story -
I am healing from many wounds in my life, including wounds that were imposed by the Church. Thankfully, I have had many kind, gracious, patient people in my life who have been nurturing me over the past few years as I have entered a process of healing.
A couple of years ago, I was in grad school and sitting in one of my professor's offices. I told her I could feel myself nearing the end of a much-needed break from a formal "church" community, and I alluded to my fear of & ambivalence about re-entering such a community. Her words to me still ring my heart, "There was a time for about a year or so that just sat on the back row of a church for awhile. I would sit there every week, squeeze my husband's hand, and cry a lot - every week. Sometimes it was grief, sometimes anger, sometimes hope. Maybe you need a space like that - somewhere where you don't have to lead anything or even believe anything. Just a space where you can doubt, grieve, and receive care."
Wow. RECEIVE care? At church? I was already in therapeutic spaces and communities, but I had never really considered that church could be a real community of healing for me. How sad is that?! For me, church had always meant giving, giving, giving and deepening an already deep & solid faith. These words from my professor opened my heart and gave me hope that I didn't know existed. I still haven't found the exact faith community I'm looking for, but I have experienced little tastes of it here and there. And I do usually shed some tears of grief, anger, or hope at some point in almost every service I attend.
But lately, I have gradually been feeling stronger and more whole. The wounds that were once very open are healing and my muscles regaining strength. I find myself wanting to give/serve/love others in and out of the Church. I feel less defensive and more compassionate. And I feel myself gradually emerging from the long, nurturing, shelter of therapy and into the world.
Now back to the article - Beck asks, "When should the church stop becoming a spiritual hospital, a place where my emotional needs are met versus a place where I’m equipped for mission?" I like this question, because I can feel Beck pushing back against self-indulgence and narcissm. But I don't like the question, because I think it's naive to think that any of us are ever in need of solely 1 space or the other (healing vs mission).
Yes, it's hard for the Church to be both therapeutic & prophetic at the same time, but I don't think it's impossible. In fact, I think it's necessary. Granted, I think this balance can probably only work in smallish, relationship- and community- oriented churches, but that's a whole other conversation.
The point here is that healing is an ongoing, lifelong process. There are seasons in our lives when we need to be more therapeutic - to hunker down a bit to give our wounded hearts time to heal. And there are seasons when we need to emerge and give ourselves more freely and openly to those around us. But our need for healing spaces does not end when we give to others. If anything, the process of giving is often a part of the healing process.
A couple of side notes...
1. Why I want to experience healing specifically in the context of the Christian Church is a whole other conversation, probably worth writing about at some point.
2. In my not-so-humble opinion as both an experienced client and therapist, any therapeutic environment that does not ultimately compel a person to give love, is not "therapy." It is more a cave of self-indulgence & narcissism and such caves are quite prevalent. Do not get me wrong though. The line between a space for healing and space for self-indulgence is oh so very fine and often indiscernible to those who are not directly participating in the therapeutic space. But I do think there's a line, and I think most of us err a little too far on 1 side or the other.
Maybe that's a good place for each of us to start. Do you know which side you err on? And why? Can you see the value of the other side too?
In short, Beck writes that "[i]t’s hard to be therapeutic and prophetic at the same time." Whether we're talking about an individual or a group (e.g., church), I agree with this statement. I do think it's possible to be in both worlds at the same time to some degree, but it's hard and one is usually leaning more in 1 direction or another.
I'm intrigued by Beck's words, because I find myself very actively between these 2 worlds right now. My feelings about his words are very connected to my story and my own experiences. Here's a glimpse of that story -
I am healing from many wounds in my life, including wounds that were imposed by the Church. Thankfully, I have had many kind, gracious, patient people in my life who have been nurturing me over the past few years as I have entered a process of healing.
A couple of years ago, I was in grad school and sitting in one of my professor's offices. I told her I could feel myself nearing the end of a much-needed break from a formal "church" community, and I alluded to my fear of & ambivalence about re-entering such a community. Her words to me still ring my heart, "There was a time for about a year or so that just sat on the back row of a church for awhile. I would sit there every week, squeeze my husband's hand, and cry a lot - every week. Sometimes it was grief, sometimes anger, sometimes hope. Maybe you need a space like that - somewhere where you don't have to lead anything or even believe anything. Just a space where you can doubt, grieve, and receive care."
Wow. RECEIVE care? At church? I was already in therapeutic spaces and communities, but I had never really considered that church could be a real community of healing for me. How sad is that?! For me, church had always meant giving, giving, giving and deepening an already deep & solid faith. These words from my professor opened my heart and gave me hope that I didn't know existed. I still haven't found the exact faith community I'm looking for, but I have experienced little tastes of it here and there. And I do usually shed some tears of grief, anger, or hope at some point in almost every service I attend.
But lately, I have gradually been feeling stronger and more whole. The wounds that were once very open are healing and my muscles regaining strength. I find myself wanting to give/serve/love others in and out of the Church. I feel less defensive and more compassionate. And I feel myself gradually emerging from the long, nurturing, shelter of therapy and into the world.
Now back to the article - Beck asks, "When should the church stop becoming a spiritual hospital, a place where my emotional needs are met versus a place where I’m equipped for mission?" I like this question, because I can feel Beck pushing back against self-indulgence and narcissm. But I don't like the question, because I think it's naive to think that any of us are ever in need of solely 1 space or the other (healing vs mission).
Yes, it's hard for the Church to be both therapeutic & prophetic at the same time, but I don't think it's impossible. In fact, I think it's necessary. Granted, I think this balance can probably only work in smallish, relationship- and community- oriented churches, but that's a whole other conversation.
The point here is that healing is an ongoing, lifelong process. There are seasons in our lives when we need to be more therapeutic - to hunker down a bit to give our wounded hearts time to heal. And there are seasons when we need to emerge and give ourselves more freely and openly to those around us. But our need for healing spaces does not end when we give to others. If anything, the process of giving is often a part of the healing process.
A couple of side notes...
1. Why I want to experience healing specifically in the context of the Christian Church is a whole other conversation, probably worth writing about at some point.
2. In my not-so-humble opinion as both an experienced client and therapist, any therapeutic environment that does not ultimately compel a person to give love, is not "therapy." It is more a cave of self-indulgence & narcissism and such caves are quite prevalent. Do not get me wrong though. The line between a space for healing and space for self-indulgence is oh so very fine and often indiscernible to those who are not directly participating in the therapeutic space. But I do think there's a line, and I think most of us err a little too far on 1 side or the other.
Maybe that's a good place for each of us to start. Do you know which side you err on? And why? Can you see the value of the other side too?
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