28 Weeks
Baby Starling and I entered the third trimester of this pregnancy this past week with a new whirlwind of emotions. The details of that are more than I'm free to share here in this moment. But suffice it to say we've been enjoying blissful summer days that are bursting with life and happiness in and around us AND continue to be disrupted by the pain of losing two other babes. Bumblebee (second lost baby) would have been due yesterday, and I spent the day celebrating and grieving. Alas, the joy and grief on this parenting journey are eternally bound. As for the joy, we are way behind on taking and sharing belly pics. We finally did it a few days ago, just after the 28 week mark. Here we are.
Baby Starling is growing and thriving and making him/herself known to me more and more each day. I can feel his/her hiccups at least once a day now, which is so sweet and funny to feel. S/he seems as strong as Naomi but in a different way. I feel less momentum-charged kickboxing and more spurts of core, isometric strength training with sustained pressure in my belly. Hilarious. Who is this little being, growing inside of me?! I can't wait to know more of him/her.
Like with Naomi, I love being pregnant. It's not easy for me physically, but it is the most miraculous thing to feel and see human life growing inside me. I'll be sad when this pregnancy ends - especially since the chances of it ever happening again are pretty slim.
I hold both experiences of joy and grief in my heart today and thank God for the vibrancy and fullness of this life S/he has given me. I can feel Starling wiggling and stretching as I type these words. Naomi sleeps peacefully in our bed, and Papa rests in the back room after a sweet morning of one-on-one time with her. On the coffee table next to me awaits the beginning of a new knitting project for Starling, a cup of tea, and freshly baked cookies. Out my window, I see a garden of lush flowers, herbs, fruits, and vegetables growing in their full summer glory.
Lots of hugging and kissing Baby Starling.
And her favorite: tickling "her." (Naomi remains convinced that Starling is a "she," but we're not finding out until birth.)
Like with Naomi, I love being pregnant. It's not easy for me physically, but it is the most miraculous thing to feel and see human life growing inside me. I'll be sad when this pregnancy ends - especially since the chances of it ever happening again are pretty slim.
I hold both experiences of joy and grief in my heart today and thank God for the vibrancy and fullness of this life S/he has given me. I can feel Starling wiggling and stretching as I type these words. Naomi sleeps peacefully in our bed, and Papa rests in the back room after a sweet morning of one-on-one time with her. On the coffee table next to me awaits the beginning of a new knitting project for Starling, a cup of tea, and freshly baked cookies. Out my window, I see a garden of lush flowers, herbs, fruits, and vegetables growing in their full summer glory.
I wept heavy tears for Bumblebee this morning. And now my soul finds rest in this sweet, quiet, full moment. I try to flow with it all as best I can, with eyes wide open, and heart eternally grateful for the unspeakable beauty in and around me.
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