a surprise

Hello from a long silence. It was a difficult winter for us. Here is the very short version of our story and the latest news.

In the fall, our long decade of trying to make babies came to an end. We brought our last beloved embryo (from IVF) home, but s/he didn't make it. We have been heartbroken for the 3 tiny babies we've lost over the years and for facing a future without being able to have more kids. We very much wanted more, and I have always dreamed of having a big family. Imagining my life without more children felt like imagining my life without 2 of my limbs. I knew I would survive, but it was going to hurt and be a loss that I would feel acutely every day. Over the winter, I struggled a lot. Grief began to mix with despair, and everything within me was unraveling at warp speed. 

And then, at the peak of everything falling apart, I got pregnant. Naturally. Which has never happened before. We were simultaneously in shock and over the moon. I write to you today from the glorious milestone of 15 weeks pregnant. We will welcome our next baby into our family in Oct/Nov this year. And we cannot wait. Our hearts are overflowing with gratitude and joy. And now, the wonderful chaos of 3 children begins. 

(ever-expanding baby bump)

Big Sister & Big Brother